Living the Dream

Hello again everyone! You know, life is crazy busy, and I've been so busy living that it has been hard to find time to write about it. Luckily I'm entering into a new season of abundant free time, so I thought I'd pick up my virtual pencil and jot down a few life updates. So here goes nothing...

After moving and spending a couple of months as a housewife, I was crazy lucky to find a job as a "medical scribe" at an urgent care here in Charleston. For those of you who don't know, scribes are basically the people who document everything during a medical visit. I followed around the doctors and PAs and wrote down anything important that they or the patient said, with the hopes that anyone reading the "chart" in the future would have a complete picture of that visit. After a few very challenging weeks of training, in which I was literally terrible at my job and cried after work in my car, I started to get the hang of things and eventually fell in love with my job and the people I got to work with. Even with the crazy stressful 13 hour shifts, working weekends, and the occasional unruly patient, I know that job was perfect for me. You see, at the beginning of the year I had the daunting task of figuring out how to get 1,000 clinical hours so that I could apply to PA school. Just when it seemed impossible to find a job in a new city with no connections and no real training, the Lord provided this job that got me the hours AND incredible exposure to all kinds of patients and medical problems. Most importantly I got to work with a bunch of people that inspired me to keep running after my dream of being a PA. While I was working, I was also taking a few classes at the local community college, applying to PA school and doing the whole "adult" thing, so the past 9 months were busy as heck.

Two of my most frequently used work faces: the "I don't know what I'm doing" and the "I wan't to be you"

Just to clarify, a "PA" is a Physician Assistant. Even if you don't know what that means, you've most likely been treated by a PA at some point in your life and didn't even realize it. They can do many of the things that a doctor can do, including diagnosing illnesses, prescribing medications and even specializing in different types of medicine. After some turmoil over the past 2 years, the Lord made it pretty clear that being a PA was the career choice that made the most sense for me. When we decided to plant our roots in Charleston it was with the knowledge that there is a great PA school here that I could set my sights on. So in June when applications opened up, I submitted my one application to the Medical University of South Carolina (MUSC) and prayed that it would be the last time I'd ever have to apply to a school. 

Fast-forward to one week ago... after about a year of madness, the company that I've been working for had to shut it's doors last week. That means that I lost my job and am an unemployed housewife yet again.  As sad as I am to lose those paychecks and the time spent with my top-notch coworkers, this whole situation has honestly just made all of the blessings in my life even more evident. Guys, if you ever need motivation while budgeting, just remember me saying that saving and budgeting over the past 9 months saved me and Austin from a whole lot of worry and panic. Dave Ramsey would be so proud. Any who, I'm jobless and spent the past week making jokes about unemployment, catching up on lost sleep and watching Jane the Virgin on Netflix. No complaints here.

 Excuse me while I spend my entire day here...

Surprisingly, getting laid off was not the biggest thing that happened to me this week. On Tuesday morning (while I was still asleep at 10:30am), I got a call from an unknown number. After mistaking it for an alarm and answering by accident, I  proceeded to hang up immediately. Luckily for me, the unknown caller was persistent and I got another call a a few minutes later. On the other line was someone from MUSC telling me that I GOT ACCEPTED TO PA SCHOOL. Reminder, I'm literally half asleep and wearing a PJ shirt, so this moment is not as glamorous as I imagined it to be, but it was still one of the best things that has ever happened to me. The nice man on the phone might have been re-thinking my acceptance after I started asking if this was "real life", but I honestly was in awe of the fact that all of the hard work I'd put in had actually been worth it.

My first picture as a future PA, PJ shirt included...

I know it's cheesy, but this week my lifelong dream came true. I've been blessed with an opportunity to go to school (again) and learn about things that I LOVE. Then when I graduate I'll get paid while using that knowledge to help make someone's day better, to save someone's life, to treat someone's beloved child or even just to let someone know that they're going to be ok. I mean how incredibly cool is that? And I'm not calling this a blessing just because that sounds nice, I'm calling it that because I can't think of a better word to communicate how loved I feel to serve a God that knows the desires of my heart and has opened the doors for me to live them out. How honored I feel to be entrusted with the lives of other human beings. How lucky I feel to be given a tangible way to serve people. Obviously I'm still a few years from these things, but even just the thought of them is enough to make my day. 

Living the dream,

Kelly 

Jumping In

I'm sure many of you have heard the song Geronimo (by Sheppard) that has been all over the radio in the past couple of months. Whether you like the song or not, you must admit that it's pretty perfect to blast in the car with the windows down on a beautiful Spring day! Anyway, I personally think the song is really catchy and fun to sing along with, but every single time it comes on I sit there thinking "this MUST be a Christian song..." right? Hear me out on this...

First of all, stylistically it definitely has some Christian music vibes. Repetitive shouting of words? Check. Imagery focussed on nature? Check. Peppy drumming? Check. Group shouting? Check. 

Secondly, it's about putting faith in something, having enough trust to jump into it, a love strong enough to make that risk worth it, redemption of a broken man, someone being set free as they're on their knees... COME ON. THAT IS JESUS. Or at least that's what I keep thinking when it comes on. 

Anyway, I did a lot of internet searching to figure out what they actually were talking about, and all I can find is that it is a little love story. Therefore, I think it's not too creepy that I am seeing so many parallels between this song and my current walk with the Lord. 

Here is the song so you can hear for yourself. CLICK HERE TO LISTEN

Can you feel it? / Now it's coming back / 

We can steal it / If we bridge this gap / I can see you 

Through the curtains of the waterfall

When I lost it / Yeah you held my hand 

But I tossed it / Didn't understand / You were waiting 

As I dove into the waterfall

So say Geronimo...

Can you feel my love

Bombs away / bombs away / bombs away 

Can you feel my love

Bombs away / bombs away / bombs away 

Well we rushed it / Moving way too fast

That we crushed it / But it's in the past / We can make this leap

Through the curtains of the waterfall

Well I'm just a boy with a broken toy all lost and coy

So it's here I stand as a broken man but I've found my friend

Now I'm falling down through the crashing sound 

And you've come around and you rushed to me 

And it set us free so I fall to my knees

At the curtains of the waterfall

So, my walk with the Lord through the last few years has been rough. It was basically a cycle of ups and downs. In the deepest times of depression, my faith held on by the tiniest thread. I doubted, questioned, scorned, and at times I straight up called God a liar. When the hold of depression would finally wane for a time, He would draw me back and slowly I would relearn His true character. He loves me, He is good, He is trustworthy, He is powerful, He is faithful, and He could redeem my life. It was a painfully slow time of confession and repentance, but also a time of abounding grace. But then the cycle would repeat: depression comes, question everything you know about God, depression wanes, relearn everything you knew about God. 

Because of this cycle, I look back and feel like my faith isn't any more strong, knowledgable, wise, or powerful than it was when I first started college. I'm kind of embarrassed and even a little ashamed to tell people what I've learned in the past few years, because I don't feel like what I have to say is all that impressive. In four years of college I learned more than any normal person would ever want to know about biochemistry, virology, genetics, physics, clean energy, neuroscience, and calculus, but I still only have like 3 bible verses memorized and consistently have to look up what "calvinism" means on google any time it gets brought up. I feel like if "Being a Christian 101" was a class, it would have been by far my worst grade in college. 

It's really is hard to say all that, because I feel like it makes me look pretty bad. BUT. I'm starting to think that it may have been exactly what I needed. With the pride of "knowing a lot" out of the way, there was a lot of extra room in my heart for God to simply teach me about his character. It wasn't fancy or impressive, and honestly was not fun, but I look back and realize that keeping my faith in that state where I felt like I "wasn't learning new things" actually taught me something very important. I came through the hardest time of my life (thus far) KNOWING that God is GOOD. That's pretty much it. I truly still question and wonder and get confused about a lot of things when it comes to my faith, but I can't deny that God is good. And apparently I needed four rough years to learn that, but I don't think God is disappointed with that. So I'm not going to be disappointed with it either, because I feel like the foundation of my faith has been tested over and over again, but it came out stronger than ever. Praise God for teaching me what I need to know instead of teaching me what I want to know. 

So back to the song... when it comes on, it's like I get to hear about God's redemption of my faith. Yes Lord, I can feel that trust in you coming back. Jesus has bridged the gap, redeemed me, and I can see you in that. When I doubted, questioned, and lost my faith, you were holding my hand through it all. I rejected you, but you never left me. You waited for me even when I never planned on waiting for you. I got off course, but you have forgiven me and it is in the past. I put my hope and my value in the things of this world. Things that are temporary. They let me down and broke me, but you still call me "friend". I was lost and you found me. I fell and you rushed to me. I was on my knees and you set me free. PRAISE JESUS. There is nothing I rather joyfully jump into than the love of God. So GERONIMO, I'm jumping in. 

If I hadn't convinced you before, maybe you'll the see the lyrics in a new light now?

Can you feel it? / Now it's coming back / 

We can steal it / If we bridge this gap / I can see you 

Through the curtains of the waterfall

When I lost it / Yeah you held my hand 

But I tossed it / Didn't understand / You were waiting 

As I dove into the waterfall

So say Geronimo...

Can you feel my love

Bombs away / bombs away / bombs away 

Can you feel my love

Bombs away / bombs away / bombs away 

Well we rushed it / Moving way too fast

That we crushed it / But it's in the past / We can make this leap

Through the curtains of the waterfall

Well I'm just a boy with a broken toy all lost and coy

So it's here I stand as a broken man but I've found my friend

Now I'm falling down through the crashing sound 

And you've come around and you rushed to me 

And it set us free so I fall to my knees

At the curtains of the waterfall

If through the toughest seasons, I somehow came out being able to say that God is good, I really look forward to the not so tough seasons. I want to jump in, lean in, dig in to whatever God has for me. It's exciting to have a song as an anthem for this season of life, because every single time it comes on the radio I am reminded of everything I've been learning and hope to learn in the next few months. I can sing it out in the car, scream it out to the Lord, and just bask in the joy of this love story that I get to be a part of. This is going to be fun.

Jumping In!

Kelly 

Settling In: An Apartment Tour

Thank the good Lord that blogging isn't my job, because on most days I don't have time to live my life AND write about it. However, after months of whirlwind changes and constant to-do's, these past couple of weeks have been almost boring, and I have no complaints. I have used this time to adjust to being a wife (weird), to rest, to read for pleasure, to improve my cooking skills, and to make our new little apartment a home.

Today I'm going to give y'all a little tour. If you all lived in Charleston, I'd just invite you over and brag about all of the little things that we love about this place. But I'll settle for a few pictures and descriptions of our first home together and why it's so great.

For starters, I'm just very proud of my husband for providing this place for us. I don't think I realized when I was growing up just how much time and effort goes into literally "putting a roof over our heads". He has sacrificed, budgeted, and worked crazy hard to find a place that he knew I would love, and it's just a physical representation of all of the ways he supports me. I'm such a proud wife.

Secondly, living hours and hours from everyone you love is freaking hard. Like, "cry yourself to sleep and eat ice-cream for breakfast because you're so lonely" kind of hard. But then I wake up and eat my cereal in a bowl that someone we love bought us, my feet stay warm on the kitchen rug that our best friend Jessica gave me at a wedding shower, I light a candle that I won at a white elephant party back home, I cuddle up in a blanket from my in-laws, I search through the recipe book my mom surprised me with, and literally all day I go through our apartment surrounded by stupid little things that are pretty much priceless to me because of who gave them to us. Stuff is just stuff. But here, our stuff is a visual representation of all of the people who have loved us, who still love us, and who got us here.

And last, but certainly not least, this is the first place I've ever lived that really feels like it was prepared for me by God. Although we felt a definite call to this city, it is still completely foreign to us. However, this little apartment is like an oasis. The way breeze blows perfectly through when we open all the windows, the way the light fills the living room in the afternoon, and the chirping of crickets we can hear from woods across the street are all little things that just kind of comfort me. And they feel purposeful. They make it feel like God is here living with us too. And that's pretty amazing.

--BEDROOM--

We wanted our bedroom to be simple and super comfortable, so we stayed with whites and greys and a few of our most prized possessions. Here we mixed the luxury of West Elm (wedding gifts) with the utility of IKEA (budget friendly).

 

This print from BWPrints is one of my all-time favorite things. We also keep our vows here, and a great book about marriage that inspired many of those vows. Also just a cute little card given to me by my husband that reminds me that my kids will be 1/8th Japanese. 

 Austin likes to display some travel books, a bronze elk, and the handmade clock that his best man gave us as a wedding gift (seriously one of the coolest gifts ever).

--BATHROOM--

Bathrooms are weird, so we decided to mix it up and have a little color in ours. Here we went for really fluffy towels and some hip natural soaps so that our guests (and we) might actually enjoy their time in here. Literally everything in this room is from Target.

--PORCH--

This is one of our favorite spots. Austin bought me this patio set as a Christmas gift after he heard me gushing over how cute and small it was a few months ago in IKEA. It's a tiny space, but it's a tiny space that was thoughtfully prepared for me, so I love it.

--KITCHEN--

This is where I will learn to cook instead of eating Zaxby's and Panera for every meal. Maybe one day soon I'll even break in the KitchenAid mixer. But until then, I love all the little details like the Save-the-Dates on our fridge and the splashes of color here and there.

That huge hunk of wood is a cutting board gifted to us by our favorite ski-bum and it's where we do everything. 

Austin got me this recipe box a couple of years ago and it has slowly (and I mean slowly... like 10 recipes) filled with family recipes as I've learned to make them. I also love this Charleston map print, which I bought the moment Austin signed his job offer at Boeing. 

--BREAKFAST BAR--

We were really spoiled when we were gifted these adorable barstools from Target and table settings from West Elm. Add in the cake stand that I've always wanted and my favorite house plants and you have a perfect little morning spot. 

 Henry has somehow survived the journey across state lines and now has a companion.

--DINING ROOM--

This room was really put together by my husband. He found us this table "damaged" in the Macy's clearance section for like $200. It's beautiful and expands for whenever we have more than two. He fell in love with the bench and bar-cart (really a bathroom cart) at IKEA, and voila! We have a lot of our married dates here, and hope to have many friends join us around this table. 

Austin's "bar-cart" topped by a painting of Maroon Bells, where Austin and I went on a backpacking trip.

A gift from our friend Jessica's trip to India, making our entryway feel a little more official and a lot more homie.

--LIVING ROOM--

This room is the heart of our home and kind of a dream come true for me. We fell in love with the blues and greys when we walked into a West Elm last year and I basically just stole my ideas from them. Also a lot of furniture from Wayfair, where you can get great deals if you do some searching. 

Our West Elm couch was WAY out of our price range, until they mis-printed the price in a catalog and we got $1000 off (best day ever). That coffee table is faux marble and who would even notice?

This is our miracle jar. We add to it when we notice a blessing, and keep it around for the times when we forget just how much the Lord has done for us (the blessings are currently backlogged until I get more cute paper, but don't worry, the jar will be overflowing very soon). 

 

 That open space on the right side of the room is what we like to call the "guest room" because it's the perfect amount of room for some guests! 

So that's our little home! I'm sure it will get much more messy after a few months and maybe we'll spill on the perfect white bedding or the pillows will go out of style some day, but I really love this place. My prayer for it is that it will feel like home to us and to whoever may visit, and that Austin and I would use it to learn the art of hospitality. 

Settling in,

Kelly